Do your kids like school?

[meems]

For the past couple of weeks Henry has been telling me he hates school and doesn't want to go anymore. He is five and in half day kindergarten. I cannot figure out if this is a phase or if there is some sort of problem.

I talked with his teacher and she says nothing unusual has happened at school. Our home life is the same old same old. He behaves well at school and is doing fine with the work.

When I ask him why he hates school, he says it makes him tired in 50 seconds. Not sure what to make of that. I wonder if the classroom is too visually stimulating. The first time he saw the room he said it was a mess b/c there are pictures, signs, words, etc. covering all the walls.

The only other thing I can think of is that he might be feeling lonely and isolated at school. He is not like a typical boy who is into superheroes and videogames (last time I volunteered in the classroom, boys were talking about playing Halo!). He does stuff like try to make dresses for his sister with fleece and staples. He says he plays alone at school. I'm thinking it would be hard to go to school day after day and have no one to play with. :( He's also one of the younger kids b/c he has a July birthday.

I do not want him hating school and I'm considering homeschooling him for the rest of the school year. DH thinks that school is chipping away at his self-confidence and we should take him out.

thanks for reading this long post. any thoughts or advice?

eta: I'm worried that if I do take him out of school, he'll be asking to go back in 2 weeks, which is what happened over the winter break. But we weren't doing much then so it was kind of boring.

[Laura_A]

Oh man girl... this has to be so hard. MY DD #1 is in 1st grade and LOVES school and I've never ever had a problem with her wanting to go. DD #2 is in pre-K and loves it as well, but cries for about 3 minutes every day because she wants me to stay with her. LOL

Does your son excell in school? Do you think maybe he's bored? Is the work too easy for him? I'm sure it's pretty hard for him if he truly doesn't have kids to play with. Check with the school districts in your area... a lot of times they have some sort of extra curricular program for home schooled kids. A place where they can go for science labs, PE, music and stuff like that. That might help him keep from getting bored if you decide to home school him.

Good luck, I hope it gets worked out soon.

[Valgal]

Awww, poor kid! Yeah, my first thought was that maybe someone was picking on him. The teachers don't always see that stuff.

Are you able to help out in the class at all? My ds LOVES it when I'm in his class... I make stupid jokes and pick on him so that the other kids laugh and by proxy think Johnny is COOL. Really boosts his confidence.

Maybe you could invite one of the boys (or girls! my ds's best friend in k and 1st grade was a girl. i think he was just more comfortable with her) over for a playdate?

Is he in a morning class? Maybe he is too tired, and you could consider switching him to the afternoon one?

Just some thoughts. I hope the situation improves!

[sinead]

Maybe ask him what he thinks would make it better? Maybe it would be a little fix that adults just wouldn't think of. I'm not sure I'd take him out...you don't want him to be unhappy or to lose self-esteem, but you don't want to teach him that he can get out of stuff if he just complains enough either (and I'm not suggesting that's why he's complaining). It could simply be that it's a personality conflict between him and his teacher. That makes it tough for the rest of this year, but next year he could totally love his teacher and the classroom. Hey, speaking of that, you said that he said the classroom makes him tired. Maybe you could ask him if there's somewhere else in the classroom that he'd like to sit. If he's right in the middle of the room (with the excess noise that comes with that location), maybe it's overstimulating him. He might deal better with a seat in the front or in the back or by the window. Just thinking...

I taught high school and college before having Maggie, so these are just some of the things that I remember from my high school days. I had some high school kids who were completely miserable before we made small changes (and I was more than happy to work with the kids and parents, so hopefully his teacher will be, too!) that seemed to make the world of difference. here's another thought. Maybe it would help him to get there a few minutes earlier than everyone (so that he could adjust before the chaos of the day starts) or a few minutes later (so he could miss some of the initial chaos). Or have some "job" to do for the teacher during that time--take the attendance report to the office or drop off the milk order or whatever. I'd talk to him about what specifically is bothering him and try to get more than "it makes me tired in 50 seconds" (and LMAO off at that description, by the way!). Once you have more info from him, I'd sit down with his teacher and see if you can both come up with a solution to help him make it through the rest of the year. ((hugs)) I know it isn't easy to see him upset day after day.

[Charla]

(((hugs))) Everyone's given great ideas already.

I think homeschooling could be an option, thogh I'd make sure that he knew he had to stick with that for the rest of the school year, even if he decided he wanted to go back.

My mom kept many of us home for all of kindergarten, and a few of them did half a year and were home the other half, for various reasons. One brother was the youngest in his class and extremely shy, so he needed more time to grow up before he was ready for the classroom.

not sure if my rambling helps :)

[ajoyfulheart]

My daughter is very studios and does enjoy school...my son, on the other hand, HATES IT!! I homeschooled them for Kindergarten and First, and part of Second, and then put them into public school because my son was struggling with learning reading from me. I ended up putting them BACK into the First grade because I was afraid they might have missed some needed curriculum...blah, blah, blah...

Okay, all that to say that we are going to give homeschooling another try, starting this Summer!! I am going to try it first in the Summer so that if I find it isn't working out, they can go on into middle school at the beginning of the normal school year, without missing anything ;)

My son doesn't want to be around the kids at school...I finally realized that if HE doesn't want to be around them, then why would I want him to be with them?? We are in a different situation than you though...my kids are both in the 4th grade, and heading into middle school next year. We are zoned for a really crappy middle school, so that's another reason I'm giving homeschooling another try.

If you DO decide to homeschool, I would recommend finding a great homeschooling group, in your area, so that he can have interaction with other kids, and it's great support for YOU! I'm trying to find one here, in Nashville :)

[meems]

thanks for the replies, everyone. I just feel so confused about what to do.


but you don't want to teach him that he can get out of stuff if he just complains enough either yes I agree and that's one of my main concerns. I can't figure out if he is just complaining to complain or if he really does have a problem. He gives me no real answers but that could be that he doesn't really know how to say what's bothering him KWIM? He used to complain about one kid picking on him but that kid is gone now. He did say that if school were all about trains, he would like it. Oh the other thing he says is that school is filthy, which it is not.

He has a good teacher and likes her. I've volunteered in the classroom and he does love that but I can't do it often b/c of Lily. Also when I do go I don't actually see him much b/c that's the day they do their centers and groups of kids rotate through the centers.

I don't think he's bored at school. I wouldn't say he was gifted or behind. From what I've seen from being there he seems pretty average. I think he is just young. When we go to the playground or McDs he seems to gravitate toward kids a little younger than him.

I'm going to a homeschool group Meet Up next week. And I just discovered that there's going to be a homeschool conference later on this month that is just minutes away from where I live. Not sure if I want to pay $60 to register though.

[meems]

My mom kept many of us home for all of kindergarten,
how many kids in your family?

[Charla]

11 of us :)

If he's young, there is definitely NO harm in holding him back a year. Daniel, the one I mentioned, ended up going to kindergarten for half a year, being homeschooled for a year and a half, and then went into first grade. He is extremely bright (i.e. 1540 on his SATs, headed to med school) but was very young, and needed that extra time to grow up. :)