Things you NEVR Thought You'd Say as a Mom....

[AndreaBurns]

BWAHAHAHAHA!

In the last week of P.o.t.t.y training my 2.5 year old... I have found myself saying things I *NEVER* thought would come from my mouth!

Our method has been the "b.u.t.t n.a.k.e.d." approach, so that he could feel any wetness. WHich BTW~ has really worked! But I have to tell you... Seth is a monkey and likes to climb.

So last night he was climbing all over the top of our coffee table, and laying on it, stomach down. I found myself saying "Get your p**i.s. off of my coffee table."

:retarded:

As soo as I said it, I burst out laughing..... I turned to DH and said, "I never thought I would say that, ever...."

LOL~ how about you?

[Valgal]

OMG, I've had so many of those moments, lol!

I remember having to say, "Don't lick the dog cage!" once. I recall that I was on the phone with someone at the time. Umm, yeah. Try explaining that one.

(oh, and we did your method of training with Eden too... worked like a charm. Good luck!)

[Aimeemomof2+]

ROTFL....how about "We don't yell down the vents n.a. k.e.d."...I said that while a friend and her kids were over...DS was in the bath room...and wanted to tell his fried something...Her eyes just about popped out of her head....

[JennStar]

LOL! Oh, I hear ya!!
I have caught myself telling our oldest to "quit being such a brat to Henry"- wich is never an effective response! LOL!! Man, he's just so mean to his little brother sometimes!
Oh, and our latest would be Jack saying "You're not the boss of me, God is!" to which my response it "God is your boss and he gave you me to be your Mommy, so I AM your boss!" So there! LOL!

[chloe]

ROFL, you girls make me want to have kids just to say things like that too!

[sinead]

LOL I was explaining why animals at the zoo have "earrings" (tags) yesterday and I told Maggie that the animals couldn't talk to the keepers and tell them their names so the earrings kept track of who was who and which one had which ouchie. DH pretty much fell all over himself laughing. Apparently that was a funny explanation.

As for other things...
"Don't pull your sister's arms off!"
"Don't lick the bathtub water!"
"Why are you eating the doll's head? She doesn't like that!"
"The cat is not your beanbag!"

oh, the list goes on!

[YvetteSanders]

"The cat is not your beanbag!"

ROFL!

[MizAmyLou]

HA I 've got one!! LOL It JUST happened too, rofl. I watch two girls during the day for a friend of mine, and I have 3 kids of my own, so my house is always chaotic. They were screaming and rough housing so I called them all down to my office so I could talk to them. My youngest, 8 year old jacob, didn't have a shirt on and the whole time I was talking he was playing with his nipple, rofl. I had to stop in the middle of my lecture and say "Jacob stop playing with your b.o.o.b.i.e.s.!!!"
NEVER thought I'd say that one!

[TraceyLee]

i have three boys. me interrupting phone conversations with strange sentences is a fact of life. :D

my personal favorite, and one that my mom still giggles over, is the 'ceiling' conversation.

we used to live in a two story town house. the stairs were in the living room, and they were open with just a banister until you got to the ceiling. the kitchen was next to those stairs, and i like to sit in the kitchen when i talk on the phone. i'm in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, chatting away about something mundane like what we're having for supper, when i had to stop, mid sentence, to utter this strange phrase:

'quit licking the ceiling!'

and then i just continued on, as if i hadn't said anything out of the ordinary.

other 'gems' (most of them uttered while i'm on the phone with someone):

-quit licking the tv! (said while watching Food Network)
-we do not pee on our brothers (you can most likely guess what prompted that one)
-our p*nises are not swords
-going potty is not a group activity.
-we do not strip at birthday parties.

and a real show stopper:

-put that back in your pants!

[sinead]

LMAO at the p*nises not being swords!!!

[YvetteSanders]

i have three boys. me interrupting phone conversations with strange sentences is a fact of life. :D

my personal favorite, and one that my mom still giggles over, is the 'ceiling' conversation.

we used to live in a two story town house. the stairs were in the living room, and they were open with just a banister until you got to the ceiling. the kitchen was next to those stairs, and i like to sit in the kitchen when i talk on the phone. i'm in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, chatting away about something mundane like what we're having for supper, when i had to stop, mid sentence, to utter this strange phrase:

'quit licking the ceiling!'

and then i just continued on, as if i hadn't said anything out of the ordinary.

other 'gems' (most of them uttered while i'm on the phone with someone):

-quit licking the tv! (said while watching Food Network)
-we do not pee on our brothers (you can most likely guess what prompted that one)
-our p*nises are not swords
-going potty is not a group activity.
-we do not strip at birthday parties.

and a real show stopper:

-put that back in your pants!

OMG, I'm at work reading this, just about crying I'm laughing so hard!

[chloe]

I'm not a mom for real, but my cat Bidule recently gave me the opportunity to add to this funny thread. I heard myself say:

Bidule, move your a$$ away from my law book! (what a fun place to sit for a kitty, uh?)
Bidule, stop making love to my shoes!Seriously!

[AndreaBurns]

BWAHAHAHA!

Just earlier I said "Seth, get that OUT of your b*tt!!" ROFLOL~ he had a plastic toy between his "cheeks."

:retarded:

[chloe]

Rofl!

[Karah]

i have three boys. me interrupting phone conversations with strange sentences is a fact of life. :D

and then i just continued on, as if i hadn't said anything out of the ordinary.

other 'gems' (most of them uttered while i'm on the phone with someone):

-quit licking the tv! (said while watching Food Network)
-we do not pee on our brothers (you can most likely guess what prompted that one)
-our p*nises are not swords
-going potty is not a group activity.
-we do not strip at birthday parties.

and a real show stopper:

-put that back in your pants!

And the really sad thing is is that I've uttered these exact phrases almost word for word (I also have 3 boys).

What about "get your hands out of your pants" LOL

[dawnb]

"Put your p*n*s back in your underwear!" (at the YUCK dinner table)

"Don't grab your brothers' p*n*s!" (while they are both in the bath)

I'm sure there is more...