Weaning: talk to me!

[Charla]

I'm trying to figure out how to go about weaning the girls gently. Yes, the girls. They're both still nursing. (we got them to sleep in their own beds at the same time, and now they'll stop nursing at the same time! Some call it lazy; I call it efficient :rofl:)
If you nursed, how long did you go? Did they stop nursing their own? With gentle encouragement? Did you go cold-turkey?
Jasmine is down to twice a day, and knows when those two times are. She freaks out if she doesn't get to nurse exactly when she knows it should be, which is why I'm scared to drop down to less than this.
Bekah's at least 3 times a day (morning, after lunch and at bedtime. Jasmine dropped the bedtime one). She comes up for more when she's hungry/thirsty/bored/hurt/wants it, and I've been working on cutting down all but those three.

But how do I go on from here? I can't lie to them (I can't lie to anyone, actually :giggle:) so I can't tell them they're "broken" but I really would like to move on from this stage.

If you nursed for an extended period of time (i.e. into toddlerhood), did they really just one day decide they were done?

How much did you talk to them about it beforehand? As it was happening?

Thanks!

[sinead]

I nursed Maggie until she was 2 (well, 2 and 2 months) and I just had to tell her that we were done. I told her the day or two before that she was a big girl and big girls use cups instead of nursing. She pitched a royal fit about it for a couple of days, but I was tired of it and just ready to be done, so I stuck it out.

With Katie, I weaned right at one year and just quit nursing her. She was happy enough to drink regular milk and didn't really make a big deal about it. DH put her to bed for the first couple of nights and everything went really smoothly.

I think that you'll probably have some protests from Jasmine since she's old enough to know what she's missing, so you'll probably just have to steel yourself for that and work through it. Maybe you could make sure that you guys are out and about or busy during the time that you normally do one of those nursings and she might be more easily distracted.

good luck!

[Priscilla]

will was 2.5 :)

a family death took me out of town for a few days (that was tough) and will stayed with my mom--told him it was his last b4 i left :(

[lmccandless]

I've been thinking about this myself. Julia is almost 2...and it isn't that I mind it. I just wonder how/when we could stop because she is still really into it.

[mamapjama]

Mine were 2 and 2 months and 2.5. With the first it was distraction. At those times that he regularly nursed I made sure we were actively doing something fun and not in the normal nursing spot. Literally not sitting down for a week really as the moment I did he wanted to nurse. His was pretty smooth. My youngest was tougher. I really wanted it to be totally child led weaning but I had so much on my plate and he was a very demanding nurser. We cut it down to just morning nursing and he was good with that. He knew he had it in the morning. Then after a long time of that I started trying to go right to the kitchen and getting him a waffle or something yummy for breakfast and a drink in a cup. It took a bit but worked. It's been a few weeks now and it still tugs at my heart that we are done. He's my last baby and it is sad to me that I'll never have that nursing connection again :(

[pixiedust]

I had to ask my husband... I can't believe I can't remember already! With Kylie it was right about one year and I just cut back like you and then just kinda stopped. She never was really into it that much. She would take a bottle before bed long before I quit though. The bottle was my way of getting a break. She wasn't a good nurser. Ari was good at nursing, and I actually held on to it longer than she really cared about anyway. It was a year and a couple months for her. I was just sad that my last baby wasn't going to be my baby anymore. Sappy, huh? But, really I didn't like nursing that much because it always tied me down and our families were kinda private people so I ended up missing out on a lot of family things because I was back in a room by myself. Is that bad that I didn't like it too much? Good luck!! I think that you are doing perfectly. Maybe just try giving them a cup and letting them sit on your lap during that time one day, and see if they notice. Did you nurse twins?! Or are they different ages? Wow!! You must be amazing!!! That's a lot of work and sleeplessness!!

[anotherjenny]

Mine both weaned just before their second birthdays. With my DD, I was pregnant and my milk had dried up...we cut back to twice a day, then once a day, then I'd skip a day here and there, and finally she just forgot about it.

DS was gradual, as well...no supply issues that time, but I just cut down the feedings one at a time, til I was down to the one he would miss the most (bedtime). My DH did the bedtime for a couple of weeks as I was cutting that out, and it went pretty well.

I still miss nursing sometimes...such a wonderful way to bond!

[mturnidge]

I can't believe you gals nursed until 2! I CAN'T wait to be done with this breastfeeding thing.... because it has been a NIGHTMARE!! My DD wouldn't latch on, had to use a nipple shield, then it was painful (not because I was doing it wrong, because I was ultra sensitive...even pumping was painful), then she was biting, and then at 4 months she started refusing. Ugh. At 4 months she jsut started screaming at every other nursing and wouldn't eat. I'd try for a good 45 mins-hour and get frustrated so I'd give her expressed milk. I was in school at the time so I jsut didn't have to time to spend half the evening fighting with her to nurse. Certainly didn't help us bond. Now it's been so long since I actually nursed her and I just pump all her feedings. It's annoying. I highly doubt if I offered now that she'd latch on.
Any advice for me, you breastfeeding pros? LOL!

[sinead]

mturnidge, at this point I'd just go along with the expressed milk. How old is she? Like will you be done with pumping soon? If she's past 6 months, then I'd probably just keep pumping as long as you can and not worry about it.

[JenBinAZ]

it's been ages for me, too, but I only bf for 3 weeks - I wasn't producing enough and I had to go back to work early -plus when you have Hercules for a newborn and he sucks down 4 ounces like air, it's time to take drastic measures! He was in the hospital with jaundice so I pumped using their super awesome pump and OMG it was 5 min each side - I heard you can rent those machines now - I swear I got carpal tunnel pumping my hand because it was faster than my electric pump.

[mturnidge]

mturnidge, at this point I'd just go along with the expressed milk. How old is she? Like will you be done with pumping soon? If she's past 6 months, then I'd probably just keep pumping as long as you can and not worry about it.

She's 6 1/2 months old. Really not looking forward to almost 6 mos more.... boooo!

[sinead]

Well, my ped told us we could start introducing cow's milk (and yogurt) at 9 months...

Oh, and have you considered renting a hospital grade pump? I know several people (my sister included) who pumped rather than nursed and they all said that it was SO much easier and faster with the hospital grade pump. Check with the LaLeche League in your area and somebody could hook you up with more information (or check with the lactation consultant at your local hospital--most hospitals have them now, I think).

[Charla]

Thanks for all the stories and encouragement!! :)
Mturnidge, ditto what Sinead said. It's likely too late to try nursing again. They supposedly forget how to latch pretty quickly. I think insurance sometimes helps chip in on renting the hospital-grade pumps, at least that's what I think I've heard.

So next week we're going on vacation, and I think I'm cutting them off at the beginning of that. I'm getting Jasmine used to the idea (or at least talking to her about it; she keeps saying "NO!!" but that's her normal reaction to everything).

Angela, no, not twins...Jasmine turned 3 last month and Bekah's 16 months. I feel a little bad that Bekah won't get as long of the time and nutrition as Jasmine did, but it just seems to make sense to let it go all at once. And she's eating enough food that I'm not too concerned.

[mamapjama]

mturnidge do you have a La Leche group that you can call? They can answer many questions over the phone but are great to go to meetings. I would try letting your daughter try latching on. I had to stop nursing when my first son was 3 1/2 weeks old. It totally went against what I believed in. I learned about relactation and after 6 1/2 weeks of not nursing I started nursing again. I had to used Domperidone as I didn't have any milk but as you are still pumping you wouldn't likely have any supply proplems.
I have pumped and give you a huge amount of applause for pumping this long and feeding your daughter. That takes an amazing amount of work and commitment.
I would try finding a time that you and your daughter are in a great mood, relaxed and happy. Sit in a comfy spot and let her try. Do you have a nursing necklace? I nice big circular stone on a leather or hemp cord works well too or I can link you to some online. It will give her something to hold on to and play with and keep her focused more (or alternatively try first thing in the morning, or last thing at night so while she is pretty sleepy she will just latch by instinct).

If you have any specific questions, please feel free to pm me :)

[mturnidge]

Thanks ladies for all your great advice! Sorry, Charlene....I didn't mean to hijack your thread. :sign0101: Good luck weaning!


Oh, and have you considered renting a hospital grade pump? I know several people (my sister included) who pumped rather than nursed and they all said that it was SO much easier and faster with the hospital grade pump.

My pump is pretty good. I have a Medela Pump n Style and it takes 15-25 mins to pump, depending on my let down. I'm not sure how much faster a hospital grade pump is though.

[Charla]

No worries! I got lots of encouragement and enjoyed the stories! I've really enjoyed nursing (99.9% of the time) but am ready to end this chapter of my life.

[missrubikscube]

good luck weaning charlene! i weaned audrey at 8 months and it was a piece of cake - but she just switched to a bottle that she is now addicted to! oops! she takes only water in her bottle now - but she wants it a lot - and always if she is sleepy or wants some comforting - plus a lot of other times, too!

so - any advise on how to get kids off of the bottle?? she'll be 2 in october, so we're way past the deadline :(

[Charla]

I've never even owned a bottle, but can you change her over to a sippy cup? Or a cup with a straw? Not sure how that would work, but that's probably what I'd try :)

[crazygirl]

i nursed all my kids FOREVER...
well, maybe not as long as you teeheehee, but lindsey was almost 2.5
i just told her it was all gone, and we quit cold turkey.
in fact i quit cold turkey with all the kiddos.. all 4.
we both cried it was a rough day and a half, but that's all it took for them.. some were less.
to relieve myself i would sneak in their room in the middle of the night to get a quick snack in for them, they'd never remember right? HAAAAAA good luck!

i only weaned to a bottle once.. it was a BAD choice.. it was for lindsey, she was wayyyy to old.. the result? all her molars were rotted out, and she had to have surgery.. i NEVER used a bottle again.
we went straight to cups.
i let the kids (usually around age 1) pick out a sippy cup, and they loved it.. took a little while and LOTS of chocolate milk or apple juice.. but we survived.. HA!

[Charla]

Thanks for all the support! And Jacque, thanks for your confession...I knew I wasn't doing the worst thing ever when I snuck in and had Jasmine nurse in her sleep, and then Bekah a few nights later. My milk still isn't gone, after 1 1/2 weeks, but I'm not hurting or nearly as swollen. And the girls are doing great about it! They still ask occasionally, but don't cry when I say no...they just find something else to do :)

[crazygirl]

oh i think i still had milk for MONTHS..
in fact once in awhile, if i hear a baby cry or bend over it feels like i'm having a let down.. rofl!
i haven't nursed for almost 2 years now!

[Charla]

no! Don't tell me that!! :rofl: