Do you ever wish...

[suzyqscraps]

you could just disappear and leave everything behind for a while?

I've only been a mom for 7 months, but some days it's just so hard! Don't get me wrong, I love my adorable baby, and would never abandon him. But sometimes, everything seems so OVERWHELMING and I wish I could just go someplace and be all alone, without having to do anything (like wash dishes and laundry, fold laundry, vacuum, scrub the tub, clean out the fridge...'cause there's something growing in there) and without having to think about anything (like what's for dinner...and did I pay that bill?...and will dh want some alone time tonight and how do I give it to him when I'm sooooo tired!).

Sigh! Sometimes I feel like such a terrible wife/mom. Everyone else I know in similar situations seems like they have everything together, and I'm on the verge of losing it all...the plates are all spinning, but they're about to crash...

Does anyone else ever feel this way...or am I abnormal? :sad2:

[amanda heimann]

YES! I am counting the days until school starts. 61 days in case you were wondering. It does get better. You will find your balance and learn what you can put off until another day. After 4 years I finally found a schedule that works for me. And that doing a load of laundry a day is essential. And paper plates.

[JCSimon]

{{{{Suzy}}}} Don't always believe what your eyes tell you! <g> It's a very rare new mom that doesn't feel just the way you do. As Amanda said, it DOES get better. Eventually, you find a balance in your life. First, just try to stop being the perfect mother and wife -- there's no such thing, believe me.

Try taking some time every day -- 20 minutes or so -- to just *play* with your baby....notice the cute little things he does, the expressions he tries out, the new things he's learning. Try to clear your mind of everything else for that time and just *enjoy* him.

When my kids were little, dh & I worked out some "alone together time" rules.....one day it was just *my* time....he'd give me a massage (and nothing else!) or just cuddle or whatever else I wanted to do together....the next time was his turn. It took some of the pressure off and we found we enjoyed our alone time together more. He learned that being together meant more than just doing the deed, and I learned that, when the pressure was off, I was more likely to want to do it! <g>

Like Amanda, I learned that doing one load of laundry a day kept it from piling up and making me feel like it was totally out of control. Use lots of paper plates and send dh out to do grilling as often as possible!

Hang in there, Suz, you'll get through....and you can always come here and vent. :)

[IntenseMagic]

Hugs to you!! I totally agree with the other ladies! I think you would be hard pressed to find a mom that hasn't felt that way at some point. But, as they said it does get better (at least til they become teenagers, lol) and you don't have to be "super mom". Maybe set a schedule for things to be done and don't pressure yourself to get everything done "right now". For example, I pay bills first thing in the morning before anyone else in the house is awake. And make time for yourself, it's not impossible :) Sanity is far more important that what does or doesn't get done! I started all over again at 40 with a new baby and a 15 and 10 year old...crazy? maybe but the one thing I have noticed more than anything is that I truly enjoy the little one more than I ever did the older two...not that I didn't enjoy them, but at this point in my life I've learned what works and what doesn't, what's stressful and what's not, and what's most important. Like Jamie said...you find the balance! And AMEN to the one load of laundry a day and the paper plates!!!! And thank goodness for a place to go with people who listen :)

[suzyqscraps]

Thanks so much ladies! It's so refreshing to know that I'm not alone. And it's so nice to have a place to vent, where I don't feel like I'll be judged or thought badly of. THANK YOU!

[d2vasquez]

OH I had and still have moments like that - lol and my girls are now 7 and 12.....I think you should just follow some of the suggestions noted above and know that you are not alone in your thoughts! :)

[sinead]

Oh, you are SO not alone! LOL The day after my kids were out of school for the summer I was ready to climb the walls! hehehe

Hang in there. Try not to take it all so seriously (hard when you're in the middle of it, I know, especially when your little bundle of joy grows a voice and an opinion and an occasional bad attitude). I do at least one load of laundry a day. We also try to play a little every day. And I don't kill myself to make sure the house is perfect. Heck, right now I've got unfolded laundry across the room on the other couch and there are some toys scattered on the floor. There's always tomorrow. I'd rather have some fun with my kiddos and enjoy my time with them than have a sparkling perfect house and neurotic kids.

(((hugs)))

[JenBinAZ]

we've all been there sweetie! I remember those days, plus I was back to work very early and had that stress added to a little one - remember that the tub can wait ... the fridge can wait if you aren't in danger of growing a 3rd world disease ... take some time for you when you can!!

[KimberlyGiarrusso]

It's so overwhelming. You are not alone in anything you said. If any new mom ever says she doesn't have days where she just wants to step off the planet for a couple minutes then she is fibbing you :giggle:

Everyone is right. It does get better. I have 4 now (ages 6,4,3 and 10mos) and even though I still want to pull my hair out :giggle: it really does get better.

Ok, don't laugh at me, but when I need time alone I just say I have to go to the bathroom, I lock myself in there and get caught up on all my scrapbooking magazines. :giggle: Noone knows I am in there hiding, and they leave me alone for a couple minutes while I regain my composure.

This is a hard stage anyways, your baby is at the age where he is starting to move around, crawl and beg for attention. He is so little sweetie, just give it to him. Ignore the dishes and the laundry, forget that fridge and just chill with your baby. He is only a baby once, and it goes fast. I can't believe Jack is already 10 months old!

If you ever need anything, you know we are all here. That is the best thing about these members, we are one big family here to support you. Take care and if you ever need anything at all just yell.

:grouphug:

[mzkellyb]

It does take some time to figure out what works for you & the family. I know when my first was born I was so frustrated after a few months of not getting time to take a shower that DH & I made a deal. It helped so much to know that if I couldn't get something done during the day I would get a chance when DH got home and would give me my time.

Hugs! It gets better, I promise. Just do what needs to get done when you can and the rest will get done another time when you feel up to it. My house looks horrible at the moment, I would be embarrassed if anyone came over, but we all have clean clothes & clean dishes. lol The kids are happy & having fun with Dad being home, and that's all that matters :)

[KimberlyGiarrusso]

My house looks horrible at the moment, I would be embarrassed if anyone came over, but we all have clean clothes & clean dishes. lol The kids are happy & having fun with Dad being home, and that's all that matters :)

I hear you on that one :giggle:

[suzyqscraps]

Wow! You guys are so great. Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice. It was just one of those moments. I think I'm starting to learn what works best...it's just accepting it that I struggle with. For example, I would love to get the dishes done and pick up around the house before I go to bed, so I wake up to something beautiful, and not a reminder of what needs doing. It's happened a few times, and I love it. But most of the time, I just feel like a big fat failure, because it didn't happen. Why? Because I work better in the mornings. So rather than try to meet some ideal that just isn't going to happen (yet...or ever maybe), I really ought to help myself and work with myself, and instead of against myself. Like, rinse the dishes and hide them in the sink (no dishwasher to hide them in) until the morning, when I have the energy and the motivation to wash them.

Yep, I think that's my biggest struggle. Not recognizing what works for me ('cause I'm figuring that one out), but accepting it and not trying to make myself conform to what works for other people.

Thanks so much, gals! It really means a lot that you'll take a moment to pick me up. THANKS!!!