Flowers and chocolate?

[kelleighr]

Okay, gals. I don't mean to seem weird or ungrateful or anything like that, but I have to know that I am not alone here.

My husband just had flowers and chocolate delivered. Sweet, right? But, they are gorgeous yellow roses with red tips, and the chocolate looks gourmet and not like something that was picked up at the grocery store.

My problem is . . . eeek! The price!! I am having such a hard time feeling happy about this because I have a pretty good idea of what these cost, and it freaks me out!! I mean, I could have gotten a new outfit or 3 dinners out, or 18 new scrapbooking kits, or a bit of a new operating system, or a couple of shutterfly books, or some new shoes, or, or, or . . . And, it doesn't help that I had to write a tuition check and buy groceries today when we are SO down to the wire on funds this month that it stresses me out.

I'm struggling. I don't want him to feel like I am ungrateful. Well, maybe I am. I just really hate it when he spends money like this when I am NOT the type of person who wants/likes presents. Gifts are NOT my love language. Quality time is. I've told him this over and over in our 11 years of marriage! I'm happy with a $10 bouquet of flowers from the grocery store. MUCH happier, 'cause I know he didn't spend too much money.

Ugh. Someone smack me across my head and knock some happiness and gratefulness into me before he gets home!!

[Charla]

:hug: I'm sorry!! It's so sweet that he'd do that, but if you keep telling him that it doesn't mean as much as spending time with him, then it's not as meaningful as a bunch of other things he could do for you!

I hope you can find a way to enjoy them in spite of that (and the cost factor...I totally understand that!!) because it's such a sweet gesture!! :wub:

[chloe]

It's sweet indeed, but I perfectly understand how you feel. I love flowers, but it seems like a waste of money to me 'cause it doesn't last for more than a couple days (at least in my home, the only house on earth where a cactus can die of being dry... Seriously!). DBF understand that: he probably offered me 2 bouquets over the last 7 1/2 years! LOL Hope you'll still be able to see the sweet side of things. ((((hugs))))

[sinead]

I know what you mean, Kelleigh.

Still, though, maybe his love language is gifts. Maybe it's his way of telling you what he needs--not that he needs you to spend something, but maybe in his mind, he's not taking care of you/showing you that he loves you if he's not doing things like this. In the end, the money's already spent, right? So maybe try to focus on his intentions instead of on what you could have spent the money on instead. :) (Not that I'm trying to make you feel ungrateful...I'm the same way about this stuff and I'm just repeating what has been said to me from others in the past.)

[kelleighr]

I know what you mean, Kelleigh.

Still, though, maybe his love language is gifts. Maybe it's his way of telling you what he needs--not that he needs you to spend something, but maybe in his mind, he's not taking care of you/showing you that he loves you if he's not doing things like this. In the end, the money's already spent, right? So maybe try to focus on his intentions instead of on what you could have spent the money on instead. :) (Not that I'm trying to make you feel ungrateful...I'm the same way about this stuff and I'm just repeating what has been said to me from others in the past.)

Hmm . . . good point. Maybe he wants me to buy the $120 duck call he has been hinting at. <cough, cough, choke>

Well, at least I know that I need to reciprocate. There goes my PayPal account! Love that man, though. He is a sweetie!

[tamra]

I totally understand how you feel. I'm the same way. And then you feel even worse about how you feel when he was just trying to do something nice for you!

[kelleighr]

I totally understand how you feel. I'm the same way. And then you feel even worse about how you feel when he was just trying to do something nice for you!

Exactly! I'm miserable! Maybe I should just go eat some of those chocolates!!

[sinead]

lol Kelleigh!

Have you guys read the love languages book? I read it (and the kids' one--that was a big help with my kiddos, too!), but I couldn't get DH to read it. I have talked to him about it, though, and it seemed to make a difference for us. It sure did help me remember where he's coming from a lot of the time. :)

[kelleighr]

I've skimmed through some of it and read the condensed version (reviews, etc.) and totally get it. We decided DH's LL is physical touch (surprise, surprise!), so this gift thing is throwing me for a loop. Maybe I should just go buy myself new panties and wrap them up for him? LOL! It's a 2-fer!

[sinead]

LOL! Hey, there ya go! :) hehehe no matter what his love language is, he'd probably love that! LOL

[gonewiththewind]

It took forever for my DH to realize that it wasn't the price of the gift, but how presented and the reason behind it.

Hugs to ya, and like Sinead said, hope you can figure out a way to overcome your feelings and really enjoy the beauty of the flowers and the YUM of the chocolates.

[rh_scrapbooker]

I remind my DH every year not to buy flowers.

It usually works, because we can't keep the flowers in the house with 3 cats.

My DH knows *exactly* what I want --- the printout on his desk with my ring size was a big clue --- but he is balking at spending that much money until I am employed again. I'm fine with that, as long as I get it. I've told him he can cover Valentine's Day, 10th Anniversary, AND my birthday with one gift! :)

Rachel

[Deena]

Dh rarely gets me flowers, so when he does, I really love it... That being said he had some delivered since he has been gone... and although I loved them, i was not thrilled LOL The cost was what got me, I would have preferred a new pair of jammies or something. I let him know that he was not to send me flowers everytime he wanted to send me a gift and gave him a few ideas of what to get me :)

For Valentine's day I bought myself a VIP pass to the NKOTB concert I am going to HAHA... he did not know what to get me, so after i bought it, I told him his gift to me was to not get upset about it :) He was fine with that!

[kelleighr]

Okay, so last night I was sitting in bed thinking that I should come up with some sort of list of gifts that cost around $3 that I would be THRILLED to have. Here we go:

Annihilator - my favorite coffee from Dutch Bros. If you are ever in Oregon, swing by a Dutch Bros and experience heaven in a cup for just $3.

A $3 gift certificate to my favorite digi designer. (Oops! I CT for her! :giggle:)

Some cozy socks with the little rubber nubs on the bottom so I don't slip on my floors.

A new lip balm.

A glass of wine.

Mint Tea.

A bag of Dark Chocolate Almond M&Ms (a BIG bag)

what else?

[missrubikscube]

i love a yummy flavored bubble bath, candle or lotion .... some of these may be a bit more than $3 - but less than $10 :)




Okay, so last night I was sitting in bed thinking that I should come up with some sort of list of gifts that cost around $3 that I would be THRILLED to have. Here we go:

Annihilator - my favorite coffee from Dutch Bros. If you are ever in Oregon, swing by a Dutch Bros and experience heaven in a cup for just $3.

A $3 gift certificate to my favorite digi designer. (Oops! I CT for her! :giggle:)

Some cozy socks with the little rubber nubs on the bottom so I don't slip on my floors.

A new lip balm.

A glass of wine.

Mint Tea.

A bag of Dark Chocolate Almond M&Ms (a BIG bag)

what else?

[YvetteSanders]

computer goodies are my favorite, but I will likely get roses again this year LOL!

[cherpea]

Well... I kinda got mine early... treat that was... getting to spend the whole day with DH... we wandered round town... visited his favourite car shop and then had yummy souvlaki for lunch before heading to the art gallery...then home to get the girlies from school...

the funny thing was we got asked if we wanted roses for Valentines... nah no way NOT at $25 a small sadly wrapped... well past their use by date roses!!! I told him right then and there if he wanted to get me roses he had to haul butt out of bed tommorrow morning and cut me some white ones from our rose bushes...

[HeatherB]

Last year dh upgraded me to PSCS3. He is a romantic at heart!

[kelleighr]

Last year dh upgraded me to PSCS3. He is a romantic at heart!

Oh, I would DIE! What a total romantic! He KNOWS you, huh!?! Yeah, computer goodies are all I really want, too!!