View Full Version : The ongoing story
07-09-2005, 08:13 PM
I've always thought these were fun!
I start with a phrase and the next person adds to it - to help keep the story going. The sillier the better!
Today is hotter than heck out....when I stepped outside I noticed that....
07-09-2005, 08:21 PM
the IHOP across the street was frying eggs on the side walk
07-09-2005, 08:46 PM
and lord knows i can't resist some good ol' scrambled eggs, but just down the street was....
07-09-2005, 09:01 PM
a homeless man sitting on the corner....
07-09-2005, 09:26 PM
Wear in nothing but a pair of speedos and combat boots....
07-09-2005, 11:04 PM
I took a closer look, then realized "Hey I know that guy!" He's the one from...
07-10-2005, 02:46 AM
My work. The CEO that got canned last month. He said to me...
07-11-2005, 01:37 PM
"How you doin'?" In his best Joey imitation...
07-11-2005, 01:56 PM
just then he jumped up and...
07-11-2005, 02:21 PM
started walking toward me. then he said "hey, can you......"
07-11-2005, 03:04 PM
watch my turtle for a couple of minutes? I have to...
07-11-2005, 03:13 PM
...slip into something more comfortable." So I tell him...
07-11-2005, 03:21 PM
I'm allergic to turtles but....
07-12-2005, 04:42 PM
I could help you slip into something more comfortable while you hold the turtle...then
07-12-2005, 04:44 PM
as I reached out to hand over the turtle the turtle's head poked out and...
07-12-2005, 04:59 PM
...it puked all over my 'something more comfortable', so they...
07-13-2005, 07:30 PM
Ran to get a hose since I could use a good washing, but as they stepped out the door...
07-14-2005, 02:06 AM
a dog in a clown suit walked by, all by himself, and . . .
07-14-2005, 10:23 PM
...introduced himself to us as Fred. To my amazement Fred and the CEO from work were...
07-14-2005, 10:35 PM
on their way to an all-you-can-eat buffet but just as they reached the entrance, they ran into...
07-14-2005, 11:50 PM
Richard Simmons who was holding a sign that said...
07-15-2005, 12:48 AM
"Dare to wear short shorts!" Fred was offended b/c being a dog he was unable to wear shorts...so he approached Richard Simmons and....
07-24-2005, 10:30 PM
LOL Did talk of Richard Simmons scare everyone away from this story?! ;)
..said "Yo Rich... you NEED to cut that fro!". But Richard just looked at him and........
07-24-2005, 11:38 PM
started to cry. "I have been sweatin' to the oldies so long that...
07-24-2005, 11:43 PM
I got dehydrated and had to stay in the hospital for a week. To my horror the doctor that treated me was…
07-24-2005, 11:59 PM
...Dr. Drake Ramore, aka JOEY from FRIENDS. Was he a real doctor? Wasn't he? All I know is I FREAKED out when he came closer and pulled out a....
07-25-2005, 12:35 AM
piano and started singing the blues to me. Just as I was about to run out of the room...
07-25-2005, 01:16 AM
I tripped over my suede shoelace (damn shoelace!), causing me to lose my balance. I almost fell but reached out for...
07-25-2005, 08:48 AM
this stunning man, who caught me. He turned out to be...
07-25-2005, 04:17 PM
the mirror image of myself! The only problem is that...
07-25-2005, 05:17 PM
I am a woman and this mirror image was a man. I was...
07-25-2005, 05:28 PM
now gearge clooney, with a very high pitched voice
07-28-2005, 02:54 AM
Oh no! I'm turning into Rosemary Clooney! I just checked my...
08-05-2005, 02:58 PM
schedule, and I am due to be in...
08-05-2005, 04:08 PM
LABOR in about 2 days...
08-08-2005, 08:33 AM
... but the baby is in breech position and the doctor says ...
08-08-2005, 08:42 AM
he'll only help me deliver my little one if I promise to name it after...
08-08-2005, 01:53 PM
Zha Zha Gabor.....which isn't too bad....she is beautiful....but I'm afraid the kids will tease and call her......
08-08-2005, 01:57 PM
ZZ Top. But that's ok because I really love their ...
08-08-2005, 03:32 PM
long beards and hope some day I am able to...
08-12-2005, 10:32 AM
grow mine as long as theirs because I'm getting married ...
08-12-2005, 11:05 AM
and I'd love to decorate it with...
08-12-2005, 11:12 AM
popsicle sticks because it's always been my fantasy to ...
08-12-2005, 04:26 PM
impress Martha Stewert. I know she will be since she made...
08-12-2005, 10:50 PM
Today is hotter than heck out....when I stepped outside I noticed that....the IHOP across the street was frying eggs on the side walk and lord knows i can't resist some good ol' scrambled eggs, but just down the street was....a homeless man sitting on the corner....Wearing nothing but a pair of speedos and combat boots....I took a closer look, then realized "Hey I know that guy!" He's the one from...My work. The CEO that got canned last month. He said to me..."How you doin'?" In his best Joey imitation...just then he jumped up and...started walking toward me. then he said "hey, can you......" watch my turtle for a couple of minutes? I have to......slip into something more comfortable." So I tell him...I'm allergic to turtles but....I could help you slip into something more comfortable while you hold the turtle...then as I reached out to hand over the turtle the turtle's head poked out and...it puked all over my 'something more comfortable', so they...Ran to get a hose since I could use a good washing, but as they stepped out the door...a dog in a clown suit walked by, all by himself, and . ....introduced himself to us as Fred. To my amazement Fred and the CEO from work were...on their way to an all-you-can-eat buffet but just as they reached the entrance, they ran into...Richard Simmons who was holding a sign that said..."Dare to wear short shorts!" Fred was offended b/c being a dog he was unable to wear shorts...so he approached Richard Simmons and......said "Yo Rich... you NEED to cut that fro!". But Richard just looked at him and........started to cry. "I have been sweatin' to the oldies so long that...I got dehydrated and had to stay in the hospital for a week. To my horror the doctor that treated me was…...Dr. Drake Ramore, aka JOEY from FRIENDS. Was he a real doctor? Wasn't he? All I know is I FREAKED out when he came closer and pulled out a....piano and started singing the blues to me. Just as I was about to run out of the room...I tripped over my suede shoelace (damn shoelace!), causing me to lose my balance. I almost fell but reached out for...this stunning man, who caught me. He turned out to be...the mirror image of myself! The only problem is that...I am a woman and this mirror image was a man. I was...now gearge clooney, with a very high pitched voice Oh no! I'm turning into Rosemary Clooney! I just checked my schedule, and I am due to be in...LABOR in about 2 days...... but the baby is in breech position and the doctor says ...he'll only help me deliver my little one if I promise to name it after...Zha Zha Gabor.....which isn't too bad....she is beautiful....but I'm afraid the kids will tease and call her......ZZ Top. But that's ok because I really love their ...long beards and hope some day I am able to...grow mine as long as theirs because I'm getting married ...and I'd love to decorate it with...popsicle sticks because it's always been my fantasy to ...impress Martha Stewert. I know she will be since she made...it through prison and still managed to create and run a large business. Maybe I will be in her magazine for my.....
08-13-2005, 11:46 PM
awesome pot pie. I like to make it with ...
08-14-2005, 02:21 AM
the editor of her magazine. At first she...
08-14-2005, 07:58 AM
was a little shy. But then she started to ...
08-14-2005, 12:56 PM
started to loosen up...so I baked her a ...
08-14-2005, 01:00 PM
banana bread ... with no nuts of course because ...
08-14-2005, 01:00 PM
she is deathly allergic to them as well as...
08-14-2005, 01:08 PM
seafood. She found out about her allergies one day while ...
08-14-2005, 07:46 PM
doing an indepth inverview with Fabio. He, of course, just loves
08-14-2005, 08:22 PM
sardines. But to really make the ladies drool, he loves to ...
08-14-2005, 10:41 PM
slurp his soup. His favorite soup to slurp is...
08-14-2005, 11:00 PM
lobster bisque. No one knows this but he was actually born in Nova Scotia and his father was a ...
08-14-2005, 11:39 PM
lumberjack. He would work long hours, and nothing relaxed him after a day's work more than...
08-14-2005, 11:49 PM
having sex with his wife. But she never wanted to because ...
08-14-2005, 11:56 PM
she had a big secret, which was that she was...
08-15-2005, 12:00 AM
actually a man! But Fabio's dad was so dumb that he never realized it until one day ...
08-15-2005, 12:02 AM
he caught his "wife" in bed with...
(boy...this story got interesting awfully fast, lmao)
08-15-2005, 12:04 AM
a woman! He was kind of excited by this but then he saw his "wife's" ...
08-15-2005, 12:06 AM
feet, and realized that they couldn't possibly belong to a woman. Fabio was so upset that...
08-15-2005, 12:10 AM
he started eating and got really fat. It wasn't until ...
08-15-2005, 12:11 AM
a year later that he finally admitted to himself...
08-15-2005, 12:12 AM
that he was in love with himself and this enabled him to accept the fact that ...
08-15-2005, 12:15 AM
he was a nudist...so he took a trip around the world to the best nude beaches. When he got home...
08-15-2005, 01:56 AM
he was very proud of his tan. He told Entertainment Tonight he had no tan lines. Curious, they asked...
08-15-2005, 08:04 AM
how did you keep from burning your...
08-15-2005, 09:26 AM
Stomach to which he replied ...
08-15-2005, 06:52 PM
my dazzling smile actually reflects harmful uvb rays. But,
08-15-2005, 07:28 PM
the glare from my teeth actually causes some people to ...
08-17-2005, 07:45 PM
swoon, and blindly seek out ...
08-18-2005, 12:32 AM
Sunglasses! But the light was so blinding that.....
08-19-2005, 11:35 AM
that I tripped and fell right into...
08-19-2005, 01:22 PM
a kiddie pool full of sunless tanner, which is how I got my beautiful, line free tan. The only problem is
08-23-2005, 12:44 AM
for some reason the tan is purple so I have to go to ...
08-23-2005, 02:27 AM
the tattoo parlour to get some of the colour covered over with.....
08-24-2005, 08:52 PM
a big tattoo of a parrot because ...
08-25-2005, 04:45 AM
purple reminds me of my beloved macaw, Chicco. Of course he hadn't a speck of purple on him, but he
09-03-2005, 07:53 PM
changed colors every time someone said the word ...
09-03-2005, 08:49 PM
..taco! So he had to stop eating mexican food and..
09-03-2005, 10:54 PM
his wife moved back home. Now that the house smelled better...
09-03-2005, 11:05 PM
..they decided to fulfill their lifelong dream and become iguana breeders, but..
09-03-2005, 11:08 PM
their idea was to sell iguana shoes. It wasn't too bad of an idea except that
09-04-2005, 11:24 AM
..they had a huge request for size 14 shoes and not enough iguana skin, so..
09-04-2005, 12:46 PM
they decided to take the iguanas to Paris...
09-04-2005, 04:01 PM
..where they would breed with a rare species of reptile called..
09-04-2005, 05:55 PM
Ohh La La Lotsa Iguana. They are so big, they are often mistaken for...
09-04-2005, 06:03 PM
dinosaurs. In fact, the paleontology department at NYU once thought that these iguanas ...
09-04-2005, 07:01 PM
..were direct descendants of Bea Arthur from the hit show "The Golden Girls", but that wasn't possible because..
09-04-2005, 07:09 PM
her voice is just too deep for us to be related because ...
09-04-2005, 07:20 PM
..these reptiles are actually well known opera singers in Bulgaria. The song they are most famous for is..
09-04-2005, 07:24 PM
The Phantom of the Opera but they don't like to sing because ...
09-04-2005, 09:14 PM
..singing gives them horrible gas!! One time during a concert..
09-05-2005, 12:08 AM
Moxy, the lead singer, dropped the "F Bomb" and the audience was shocked and awed by her "low note." Red faced, she...
09-05-2005, 11:28 AM
..looked over to her fellow singer Hans and said..
09-06-2005, 03:40 AM
Everybody!!! So the next thing you know they were all doing it and the crowd went....
09-06-2005, 04:23 AM
wild! It was a freeing experience for them, one that...
09-06-2005, 11:41 AM
will never be forgotten because it was of Biblical proportions since ...
09-06-2005, 11:44 AM
..passing gas in public was shunned upon in their country. News of this quickly spread and..
09-06-2005, 02:39 PM
there was a run on Pepto Bismol. So all of the corner stores had to ...
09-06-2005, 04:29 PM
lock up the pepto, and sell only one to a customer. However, the chain stores...
09-06-2005, 06:29 PM
..had a secret stash of Pepto ULTRA that they were holding for this very reason!! However, one major side effect of the ULTRA was..
09-06-2005, 07:49 PM
abnormal growth of the ...
09-06-2005, 08:01 PM
..tongue! But this didn't stop the towns' residents from rushing out to get some. Of course this product was created by rock star Gene Simmons with the intentions of..
09-11-2005, 07:45 PM
fostering tongue envy among the countrys youth. Once started, the product...
09-12-2005, 09:15 PM
caught on quickly except in outlying areas where the people believed in ...
09-12-2005, 09:59 PM
grasshoppers. They worshiped them by...
09-14-2005, 12:26 PM
hopping like a grasshopper then smoking a little ...
09-14-2005, 09:01 PM
sausage. Which they made with...
09-15-2005, 01:18 AM
basil and parsley. The smoke however had a strange effect and made them.....
09-15-2005, 05:47 PM
dance & sing show tunes while...
09-16-2005, 12:57 AM
dressed like Sherry Lewis and Lambchop. When the festivities start to slow down, the like to...
09-16-2005, 04:17 AM
do tai chi to relax and prepare them for....
09-16-2005, 09:55 PM
an evening of romance with their......
09-17-2005, 03:15 AM
ukulele, a fine bottle of gatoraide, and ...
09-17-2005, 10:45 PM
their hubbies. But it doesn't go so smoothly, occasionally.....
09-18-2005, 01:41 AM
...the neighbor's children wake up and start jumping on their beds which makes the...
09-18-2005, 09:14 PM
the monkeys screech, which drives them nuts & makes them....
09-18-2005, 11:13 PM
sing Hello Dolly, dressed like Carol Channing. Of course the female impersonators think...
09-21-2005, 02:46 AM
Barbara Strisand rules and Carol Janning is so old school so they....
09-26-2005, 03:45 PM
threw a mock funeral for her, and of course they all dressed like Babs. Near the end of the day they
10-16-2005, 09:06 AM
all broke into a spontaneous Christmas Carol because ...
10-16-2005, 12:25 PM
one of them was dressed like...
10-16-2005, 12:36 PM
Santa Claus except instead of driving a sleigh, he was driving ...
10-16-2005, 12:48 PM
a lamborghini that had a big sign in the back window that said...
10-16-2005, 12:50 PM
"Ha Ha Ha! I got one and you don't." You could barely read it as he sped away and yelled ...
10-16-2005, 12:57 PM
"And to all a good night." But it wasn't such a good night because...
10-16-2005, 12:58 PM
It started to sleet and no one knew what to do since they were in balmy Central America ...
10-16-2005, 01:02 PM
All of a sudden the brand new Lamborghini careened into a terrible slide and smashed into...
10-16-2005, 01:03 PM
A giant pile of cotton candy. The villagers were trying to get in the Guinnes Book of world records and ...
10-16-2005, 01:11 PM
were so focused on winning the "Most Cotton Candy made in a Day" title that they didn't even see the car crash....
10-16-2005, 01:13 PM
even though it almost ran over 2 villagers. They just went about their business ...
10-17-2005, 03:08 AM
making every flavor they could think of. Then, from under the pile pops a...
10-17-2005, 07:43 AM
MONKEY! The villagers dropped everything they were doing because in their culture a monkey symbolizes ...
10-17-2005, 09:40 PM
clean feet. They all took off their shoes and...
10-17-2005, 10:29 PM
waded across the river. But little did they know that beneath the water ...
10-17-2005, 10:44 PM
was a giant man-eating turtle. They tried to fight it off but...
10-17-2005, 10:47 PM
it got ahold of the village chief's leg and ...
10-18-2005, 11:01 PM
licked all the hair off of it. After he was done with the chef's leg...
10-19-2005, 03:03 PM
He ran over to get a drink of water from ...
10-23-2005, 10:57 PM
the geyser that spewed cherry kool-aid spiked with...
11-01-2005, 05:07 PM
Vodka. But the villagers didn't realize they were getting drunk until one of them ...
03-09-2006, 02:52 PM
was pulled over by a police officer. When he was asked to "walk the line," he. . . .
03-09-2006, 03:27 PM
tried singing like Johnny Cash but ended up sounding a lot more like...
03-09-2006, 03:39 PM
PeeWee Herman. You would think the police officer would laugh, but
03-09-2006, 05:25 PM
he chimed right in! There they were belting it out when...
03-09-2006, 05:55 PM
the monkey grabbed a pair of cymbals, adjusted his red shorts (with yellow suspenders) and...
03-09-2006, 10:30 PM
bit the policeman on the leg. The drunk guy. . .
03-09-2006, 11:07 PM
pulled his shirt up over his head to hide his face from the cops and started running, but...
03-10-2006, 09:22 AM
with his shirt over his head, he couldn't see, and he ran right into the back of the cop car. fortunately. . .
03-11-2006, 07:54 PM
the trunk was open and he
03-16-2006, 04:14 PM
fell inside as the camera crew caught up and filmed his loss of dignity for their latest "Cops" episode which ended up...
03-17-2006, 12:23 AM
as a special feature on the Jerry Springer show. Jerry was laughing so hard that
03-17-2006, 12:35 AM
that he wondered why he couldn't sit down so he looked and
03-21-2006, 05:12 PM
saw a mother slap her daughter's boyfriend for cheating on her
03-21-2006, 07:19 PM
but the funny part was that her daughter's boyfriend was really a woman!
03-22-2006, 02:14 PM
Being transgender wasn't his only problem, he was also a secret...
03-22-2006, 02:51 PM
cousin to Jerry Springer himself. Which wasn't as bad as......
03-22-2006, 04:38 PM
being a cousin to Martha Stewart because
03-22-2006, 04:56 PM
at least Jerry knows some hot babes!
03-22-2006, 05:05 PM
Which is funny b/c Martha actually...
03-22-2006, 05:09 PM
Martha actually met some hot babes in prison and
03-22-2006, 06:17 PM
had been keep in touch with them via email, until...
03-23-2006, 02:27 PM
she discovered that her favorite prison gal used margarine instead of butter when she
03-23-2006, 03:20 PM
was making a tart for the celebration of.....
03-25-2006, 04:27 AM
Donald Trumps birthday. After a second thought, she thought the Donald might deserve margerine. After all, Donald was the one who..
04-03-2006, 07:30 PM
messed with her big opportunity for prime time glory...
04-03-2006, 11:28 PM
but then she decided that no one should have to suffer that much. He really did deserve butter, even though he was Donald Trump. Everyone should get to savor the sweet creamy taste of real butter. So man was Martha mad! She called up the lady and yelled for an hour about...
04-05-2006, 05:37 PM
her lack of good graces and threatened to sic Paula Deen on her... *that lady knows how to use some butter*... so then...
04-05-2006, 06:10 PM
Jerry Springer got his camera crew ready. He and Oprah hosted a live cooking intervention show for Martha, and Oprahs former cook, Rosie, said...
04-07-2006, 05:24 AM
That's not butter! It's...
04-11-2006, 07:24 PM
... before she could finish, Jerry grabbed her and gave her a big...
05-26-2006, 11:41 PM
kiss on the cheek. Then he took the mic and pointed it at...
05-26-2006, 11:42 PM
Tom cruise because we all know him and Rosie...
05-27-2006, 12:33 AM
but then out of the crowd leapt katie holmes with a
05-27-2006, 01:35 AM
bottle of phychiatric meds, which enraged Tom, so he.........
05-27-2006, 04:22 AM
jumped on the couch like a monkey and screamed...
05-28-2006, 02:14 PM
"I AM GOD! FEEL MY WRATH!!" Then Katie realized what a nut he was and...
05-29-2006, 12:06 PM
she packed her bags and went to...
05-30-2006, 01:15 PM
Canada, where she could have free healthcare for her baby, even though...
06-12-2006, 05:01 PM
buy me a Big Mac?" I was about to reply when....
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