Going NUTS!

[scrappurple]

O.k., I have 2 girls. My 16 year old is a typical girl. Loves to shop, clothes, make-up, etc. My 11 year old is the complete opposite ... kind of. She hates shopping for clothes and when we do have to go shopping, she picks out items that make me cringe (think loud floral, bad colors, etc). She has no sense of style, not that I expect perfection, but stripes on top and floral skirt on bottom doesn't exactly blend if you KWIM. Then to top that off, she has a thing with material and the way it feels. I could buy her an adorable shirt and she will like it, but hate how it feels and never wear it. It has gotten so bad, that I have to tell grandparents that unless she is with you, don't buy clothes for her. If she could, she would wear sweats/jeans, tee shirt and sweatshirt every.single.day ... yes, even on Christmas Eve when everyone wears a dress (there is a battle that I won't go into). Sigh ... does anyone else have this problem? Please tell me I am not alone in the "tween-finding myself-want to be just like my 16 year old sister-but be myself" stage.

[Mom0fgirls]

LOL! My daughter loves the jeans (or better yet shorts) and tie-dye t-shirt uniform. The battles we have had over alter serving at church!

She did wear a dress (with leggings) this Christmas though (at least till after dinner - when she changed into jeans and a t-shirt). I'm counting it as a victory!

[scrappurple]

Oh yes, shorts and in winter no less!! Tie-Dye ... gah. If I see one more of those types of shirts ... sigh ... so glad I am not alone.

[wishingwellcreations]

OK, this probably isn't what you want to hear, but... I do think that there is something to the "I hate the way this material feels" thing, for some people. I've read about it -- forget what it's called, exactly -- but it's like a sensory overload disorder thing. When I was a kid, I used to refuse to wear velour or corduroy. I HATED the way they felt. It was like nails on a chalkboard to me. My mom thought I was insane. I also used to tell her that I was (and I quote) "allergic to squeaks" whenever we traveled in our van across country with a styrofoam cooler in the back (when we'd hit bumps in the road, the styrofoam made that god-awful squeaking noise it makes... and I thought I would go insane!).

Fast-forward to today... I now have a son (my oldest, almost 4-yrs-old) who is kinda weird about things like this, too. He hates the feel of his socks being "out of alignment" on his feet (and frankly, I do too... so maybe it's inherited! LOL).

I have no advice for you, other than to tell you that my mom and I used to battle over clothing, too, when I was a kid... she wanted me to wear dresses, and I hated dresses... and so she told he I only had to do it 2 days a week. Each day when I woke up, she let me choose -- dress or no dress today? I always chose "no dress". Mon, Tues, Wed... come Thursday, well, there was a lot of whining on Thursdays, when I had backed myself into a corner for Thurs and Fri outfit choices... haha

It'll pass. I am a relatively normal adult now. I hate dresses, but I am awesome. Your daughter will be, too.

[scrappurple]

Ha ha Laura! That does make sense and I do recognize that the tactile feel is a real problem. She likes this one type of fuzzy material that I HATE! But, she likes it, so why not. I don't have to wear it. It is just so frusterating to try to shop for her. It is good to know that someone went through it and came out "normal", (as if any of us are normal. LOL!) gives me hope. She will wear a tye-dyed skirt, does that count?

[IntenseMagic]

Been there done that with my now 16 year old daughter. Omgosh did we get in to some terrible arguments while clothes shopping!! I used to dread it with all I have! It's better today, although I tend to just give her gift cards for holidays and birthdays and let her do her thing (within reason). The main issue I've had with her is that she ummm "developed" early and A LOT...not sure where she inherited that, it sure wasn't me...but she just can't wear some of the cute little tops that all her friends wear. My famous before school line is "Morgan, put 'em away" bwahaha.
Hearing about your daughter reminds me of a student we had at school who graduated last year. She would wear some of the most whacky combinations of stuff I have ever seen (like the stripes and flowers). Beautiful girl!! But I think about her often and give her kudos for being her own person and doing her own thing...especially today when peer pressure is sooo great. She'll find her style...I would say a lot of us made our parents cringe at one time or another LOL

[scrappurple]

Bwhahaha ... put 'em away! LOL! I am soooo stealing that line! I think Cassie will go in that direction too. Which is a another "can of worms" with her. She is an apple shape and it is soooo hard to find clothing that fits that shape and looks appropriate on her. I am a pear shape, so I have a hard time understanding the heavy on top part. I am used to "junk in the trunk" so to speak. We have found JCPenny's does 1/2 sizes which is perfect, other than the fact she doesn't like anything. Sigh ...

[IntenseMagic]

Yep...finding stuff they like and fits is sure not easy sometimes. Morgan is tiny built. She is about 4'11 and wears a size 0 short in pants (which is tough enough to find). But up top she is a good D and if we get tops to fit that part they come to her knees and the sleeves are 3 miles too long LOL That's our biggest argument these days...she wants to buy them small but then it's hard to keep the girls in check

[mrsaboyer]

OK, this probably isn't what you want to hear, but... I do think that there is something to the "I hate the way this material feels" thing, for some people. I've read about it -- forget what it's called, exactly -- but it's like a sensory overload disorder thing. When I was a kid, I used to refuse to wear velour or corduroy. I HATED the way they felt. It was like nails on a chalkboard to me. My mom thought I was insane. I also used to tell her that I was (and I quote) "allergic to squeaks" whenever we traveled in our van across country with a styrofoam cooler in the back (when we'd hit bumps in the road, the styrofoam made that god-awful squeaking noise it makes... and I thought I would go insane!).

Fast-forward to today... I now have a son (my oldest, almost 4-yrs-old) who is kinda weird about things like this, too. He hates the feel of his socks being "out of alignment" on his feet (and frankly, I do too... so maybe it's inherited! LOL).

I have no advice for you, other than to tell you that my mom and I used to battle over clothing, too, when I was a kid... she wanted me to wear dresses, and I hated dresses... and so she told he I only had to do it 2 days a week. Each day when I woke up, she let me choose -- dress or no dress today? I always chose "no dress". Mon, Tues, Wed... come Thursday, well, there was a lot of whining on Thursdays, when I had backed myself into a corner for Thurs and Fri outfit choices... haha

It'll pass. I am a relatively normal adult now. I hate dresses, but I am awesome. Your daughter will be, too.

Sensory integration disorder. My daughter Genny has it, but the opposite way. She has a lack of sensation, which makes things like toilet training difficult. She also doesn't know when she's hungry or cold. Atha's on the opposite end, although not to the extent that some others are. Atha's weird sensory thing is that she can't stand the way something's look. She hates the geico logo, for instance, because the letters are too squishy.
But yeah, check out books and websites about sensory integration disorder.

[ShabbyShaz]

Yes, my 16 yo and then 11 yo are just the same. However the now 12 yo has matured somewhat in the last couple of months (since pubery hit - I just realised) and is suddenly making choices that make me nearly fall over with surprise. She is not all the way where I like her but suddenly she is picking pretty florals and soft colours and even skirts..denim though.

I hope that gives you some hope.

I agree with the comments on the feel. One DS has a major thing about fabric and how it feels and my youngest dd will not wear anything "scratchy" that only she can feel the scratchy-ness of.

I always addressed the battles the over 24 hours or the night before an event - and we would find a solution that helped us both. Then they had the chance to sleep on it, knowing what they were going to wear. That way no drama just before church or whatever else we were doing.

[ShabbyShaz]

And yes, the jeans and tie die are current house wear here too. Hand made tie die at that!

[judet]

Your daughter sounds like me at 11 . Not with the florals though. I had SO many arguments with my mum about her wanting me to wear skirts/dresses and not jeans and t-shirts all the time. I still maintain that her sense of style is pretty awful though. And she always wanted me to wear high-necked stuff, but it doesn't suit me at all. I think I'm the rectangle shape (working on getting to hourglass, but its a way off!) and I need v-necks!

My kids are still in the phase where they want to wear twirly dresses all the time. Which is cute, but not necessarily appropriate to the days activities!

I wore jeans and t-shirt (styled, not baggy) over christmas, too!

I think tween/teenagers just need to find their own way on this stuff, sometimes. Taking into account the need for suiting your shape, of course .

[azrood]

My 8 year old is the same way and has been since she was able to dress herself. She dresses for comfort and could care less if the top and bottom go together or if it's a good fit with the weather outside. She has sensory issues with clothing as well - no seams, no tags, nothing scratchy, nothing tight (she "fits" in a 7/8 but has to wear at least a 10/12 or it is "too tight!"), and most importantly, no long sleeves! Winter is the worst because she wants to wear tank tops and flip flops every day and it is at least a 30 minute battle to get her to put on a winter jacket.

[nicoleseitler]

Ooo! I can't touch cotton balls. They give me goosebumps. And I won't wear polyester. Only cotton. So, yeah--that's a real thing.

My oldest is only 8, but I can kinda relate to the whole "You picked that to wear today--again?!" thing.

[hollyinjapan]

My daughter doesn't have any issues with the way a certain fabric feels - at least not that I know of. She's almost 13. But a few years back she had the world's worst fashion sense. She would mix every pattern she could find. I tried not to worry too much about it because I believed that it had to be a phase. And it was. She's so fashionable now. So at least as far as the mixing and matching of patterns and colors go, I wouldn't worry about it. Don't have any advice on the sensory issues though. I hope its a phase, or at least something that can be worked around.

[wishingwellcreations]

Ooo! I can't touch cotton balls. They give me goosebumps. And I won't wear polyester. Only cotton. So, yeah--that's a real thing.

OMGOSH, YES! Cotton balls are the worst. THE WORST! Ewwwww. Can. Not. Stand. (they feel the way styrofoam sounds)

[scrappurple]

I have hope! You ladies are amazing! So nice to know I am not alone out in the world as a mom on this one. Right now I am letting her dress like she wants unless it is really bad, then both Bri and I veto what she wears. That will ususally get her attention if her sister vetoes it. I needed this laugh/hug/I am not alone thread.

[teachermom_Rach]

I would NOT wear jeans all through elementary school...only leggings. Hated the way jeans felt! Good thing it was the 80's and that was "ok" (not that my mom would have agreed!). So yep, totally a normal thing. And like others have said, we all turn out normal in the end.

The struggle I'm having with my 10 year old right now is holes in the knees. She has a tiny (or no) waist, but is tall, so by the time the waist fits in her pants, they are toooooooo short. And she'll bust holes in the knees and suddenly that is her favorite pair of pants. Luckily, we don't struggle with shirts, I'm ok with the ones she likes. Now if I can just get her to changes her socks on a regular basis.

[IntenseMagic]

Now if I can just get her to changes her socks on a regular basis.

Omgosh, socks...that's my DD's "thing". She will NOT wear socks that match hahaha! A different color/pattern on each foot....she has done it for years. They usually coordinate, but they cannot match. One plus to this is that I never have to sort her socks, just throw them all in the drawer LOL.

My mom found a great website at Christmas - LittleMissMatched - they really have some cute cute stuff. It's all mismatched but it all goes together. There's lots of leggings and sweats and stuff, too.

[AnneofAlamo]

envision identical twin tween girls......who are complete opposites

one is drawn to sophistication, sparkles and clean lines, highest heels she can get away with, and layers of textures.
other one, "didn't you wear those jeans and shirt yesterday? and the day before, hey, take that off, and wash that right now?!!?"

Getting dressed for one is an event and must be well thought out and arranged,
whereas (I so adore that word; whereas) the dirty jean wearer, doesn't worry about getting dressed, cause she slept in her clothes AGAIN!!